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Sunday, November 4th, 2001
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I wonder what time Chib went to bed... 'cause I wanna ask her a question she'll prolly say no to ;_:
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(Eat a Cow o_o)
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Saturday, November 3rd, 2001
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I woke up and started reading my book, and then dad made me do my math... and I suck at math. Gawd, I suck at everything I ever wanted to be good at ._.; Math, Chinese, Drawing, PE, the list goes on. I'm so stupid. I can't do any of my math... ;__; Dad was trying to teach me, and I felt so stupid so I stopped trying... I'll go try again later. But then while I was eating breakfast, dad came and he was like "Am I a bad teacher? Did I make you feel frustrated? I'm sorry =l" No dad, you're not a bad teacher; I'm a bad student. And that's all there is to it. I'm a stupid freak with no brain. While dad was leaving he goes "Math isn't that hard, you just have to use your brain." Well, easy for HIM to say. At least he HAS a brain. Mine seems to have gone off and died as I grew older. And he's great at math. 'cause he's smart and stuff, but I'm dumb, so it doesn't work. Math IS that hard, for me. Gawd I'm so dumb. I always thought that if you were good at math, you'd have to be really smart. So I always thought I was smart, because I was good at Math for ONE year last year. That's about the only year I got A's throughout all math. And it felt good. But now it's going away... I hate AT Math, it's too HARD. But I don't want to drop out, because then I might g et moved into classes that I don't want to be in. I don't want to change my gym/reading hour around, because then I won't have Kimi, Katie, or Katie. So I have to stay in... but I suck so bad. It's just by luck that I barely squeezed into staying there... Gawd I suck. The teacher did a lesson with us and told us that we didn't have to do the homework because it was too easy. Ha ha ha. I'm gonna go do it if I have any spare time. I'm too stupid to pass up any homework.
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(Eat a Cow o_o)
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Friday, November 2nd, 2001
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Sure, he nearly got killed a few thousand times, and he says some really stupid things... but he's so lucky at the same time. His dad dies, but then comes back. Even if it's just for one day, he's still so lucky... and his dad died like, ten times but Goku keeps coming back. It makes me wish Dragonballs really were real...
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(Eat a Cow o_o)
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I'm in a foul mood. I stayed up this late so I could talk to people and watch DBZ, and what happens? Chibi becomes all silent and that's probably because she's--idle o____O Okay... so she just got back. That's good ^_^ But I jsut missed DBZ ::whacks self:: DARN YOU! IDIOT, YOU DON'T STAY UP 'TILL 11:00 WHEN YOU'RE DEAD TIRED TO MISS A SHOW!!!
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(Eat a Cow o_o)
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Wednesday, October 31st, 2001
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Guy: Er, the level three door is the other way, sir
I love DBZ... XD
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(Eat a Cow o_o)
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Monday, October 29th, 2001
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I was going to take a shower, but I haven't yet. I just need to have a short rant. Everytime I leave the light on, what do I get? "Ellen, you're so irresponsible, how many times have I told you to turn off the lights, do you really need that many lights on, which room are you working in, do you need that room's light on?" and other crap like that. Oh, it's jolly well FINE for DAD to leave the light on in HIS room, but it's not fine for ME to leave the light on in MY room. So turning off the light is supposed to be preparing me for later life? Well, I suppose Dad hasn't been prepared well, because if he was a child and HE was taught to turn off the light, and he isn't now, what's that tell me? Psst. What a lie.
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(Eat a Cow o_o)
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I had the strangest urge to step in front of Dad's door and go "Dad, I'm sorry you married such a bitch, and I'm sorry you can't figure out how to be a better dad that can make me actually feel good, and I'm also sorry that I'm such a bitch, too." How can dad live with two bitches like me and Erica?
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(Eat a Cow o_o)
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Everything I do is so fucking wrong. EVERY SINGLE LITTLE THING. Isn't it? Everything I do irl is wrong. I can't play the piano without getting yelled at that I didn't do it. I can't state my opinions without being proved wrong. I can't do my homework without someone saying I didn't do it. My GAWD. I do what he asks me to. Why can't he just realize that and get on with his life?! He yelled at me enough, I shouldn't have to take that shit from him over and over again every single fucking day. I did my homework, I played the piano, I do what he asks me to. Yet he still thinks I didn't. Too many times that's happened, gawd, I should just stop doing it, then. THEN see how it's like. THEN maybe it won't MATTER if he tells me to go play the piano, because THEN I won't have already done it. THEN I can do my homework when he yells at me to. How'd he like that?!
I don't know why I have to put up with this crap. This whole HOUSE is filled with FILTH. The only decent creature living in it is Ed. Not me, not dad, not those stupid spiders laying eggs in my bathroom, not the centipedes downstairs, not the mice that Erica killed with fly swatters, not even Erica. Definatly not Erica. I hate living with her. Okay, she provides us with food, she buys pretty good food, too. She buys me my pads and stuff so I don't have to go asking Ed or dad. But still, I swear, if not for dad, she'd strangle me any chance she'd get. Every day I do SOMETHING wrong. Oh my gawd, I called my uncle dad's BROTHER. OH. MY. GAWD. That is SO wrong. I should NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER call dad's brother dad's brother. I mean, how freakin' disrespectful of me. I shouldn't accidently slam doors, that's bad. Instead, I should practically knock doors off their hinges like Erica did last night! Oh, and Ed shouldn't turn up his music to teach me how to dance. He should BLAST the volume on the TV up so that he can't hear anyone or anything! THEN he should go and yell at me. Oh yeah, that's right.
......ha ha, was I right or what? Dad just stormed in here and said "Ellen, did you do your homework?! I TOLD you not to go online until you finished your homework!" .......my GAWD. Okay, I'll shut up. I bet I sound really stupid. But I can't help it. I live with idiots. I'M an idiot. I live in an idiot and around a bunch of idiots. AMANDA's an idiot. She's almost as fucking bad as Erica. Not quite, though. SHE doesn't come and yell at me for calling her brother her brother. Gawd, I know that's a stupid subject to get mad over. It's not even that bad. But sometimes Erica's just too friggin' sarcastic. I know I'm sarcastic a lot. But at least when i finish being sarcastic, I say I'm kidding, or I tell them what I really ment. but not her. Oh nooooo, definatly not perfect dainty Erica who does EVERYTHING RIGHT. Maybe from now on, when I finish being sarcastic, I should just leave everyone in the dust. And everything she says is SOOO funny. ha ha ha, I crack up every time she speaks. My gawd. I wish Ed was home, and I wish he and I were closer than we are. But whenever he's home, he's either online or on the phone. But he does talk to me. I love my brother. I wish he didn't have to go off to college. He's more patient on stuff with me than Erica and dad are. I haven't cried uncontrolably for like, a year now, but just two weeks ago, I was doing that... and who made me feel better? Take a wild guess. Hey, you're probably right, unless you're the most ignorant freak of the century. I went down and was crying my stupid bum off and I prolly looked ugly as hell, and he went and took me to his bathroom and washed off my face and stuff. And he was so nice... sort of strange, but nice. Some people may not be able to see why someone who says "Oooh, you've got a booger XD" while you're crying is nice, but it made me laugh and feel better =) Then he took me upstairs and went over my math stuff with me. And last night, when Erica was on some rampage or something, I called Ed and he came home about twenty minutes later. He went and talked to dad, then told me to sleep in his room and he put on a DBZ episode for me and let me watch it then go to bed. Sure, I went to bed pretty late, but it was fun. And then this morning Ed prodded me awake and stuff and I actually got up on time for school. I love Ed; he's the only person in the house who I don't get mad at every other day. Okay ::shuts up:: you're probably all bored out of your minds. But I just have to point out how much I love my brother... 'cause he's the best brother I could have, as far as I'm concerned. Nobody should take him away from me. if anyone ever does something horrible to him, I swear, I'll go and... I dunno, whack them upside the head or something. No, I won't kill them, that's not what I do. You're talking to a person who's afraid to kill flies. Okay, so I kill spiders... and moths... and ladybugs... but you probably won't catch me killing a fly o_O; For one thing, that's nasty, for another, I... dunno, I cant' o-O; Not unless, of course, it was tormenting my brother =) Well, I kill them with racquets. But that's not the point. I wouldn't kill it with my bare hands o_O Okay, flies are a bad example. It's like I wouldn't kill a squirrel. K? Good enough for me. I don't care if this entry doens't make any sense. As long as it serves as a memory for me, then that's fine.
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(2 butchers x_X | Eat a Cow o_o)
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Saturday, October 27th, 2001
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Today was pretty fun... Morning sucked. I got up... Caitlin slept over last night, so we ate breakfast and stuff after we played uno. Oh, last night I went to a halloween party... it was pretty fun ^.^ I was an eggplant XP Mah cousin Fish made da costume~ it's so adorable =D Lotsa people said my costume was cute ^_^ And Kimi and Caitlin came with Amanda and me. We just sortta wandered around, played limbo + musical chairs, ate, and yeah ^^; ....darn, I screwed up Chibi's marquee ::just realized:: Da , should have been orange, and den da C yellow and da H green and so on. But da comma was yellow, then orange, then yellow ::sucks:: ANYWAY... so we came back and Caitlin and I had a sleepover. So this morning we ate bread and yeah. Then I went and vacuumed Mom's room and Dad and I cleaned it up. (after Caitlin left) Then I went outside and helped Ed rake leaves... Ed was really pissed off, so ^^; Den dad made Ed take Caitlin and me to da mall, and Ed was more pissed off. Poor ed ;_; So anyway, When we got to da mall, we went to build-a-bear... and I bought ANOTHER one. ::greedy bitch:: I suck. But its eyes glow in the dark- it's a halloween bear- and I couldn't resist ;____; And I bought it pajamas that also glow in the dark^__^ I think I'm gonna go to bed relativly early today, 'cause I've been REALLY tired all day @.@; ::yawns irl, in fact:: So den we went to claire's and Cate bought a bunch of stuff... and we went to barnes and noble, which has a starbucks caf?, and I bought ice cream ^^; Den we waited outside, and stupidly, dad and Erica didn't come at 4:00 like they said they would. So I kept calling home, and no one picked up, and when da answering machine picked up, da pay phone decided I must have talked to someone and took my money ?? So I spent about a dollar at the payphone, because every time you call it's 1.00... well, I spent 50 cents and Caitlin spent fifty cents. Then at 4:30, Dad and Erica come, and Erica's looking all pissed off for some retarded reason. So when I get in da car I ask them if they just got here, and they're like, "Yeah". Gawd, how irresponsible, getting here a HALF HOUR late. It was FREEZING outside. It was SNOWING last night, and the day before, too. And Erica was like "We were doing YARD work." Which is what I told Caitlin they were probably doing, and she was like "So, yard work is more important than you and me? How irresponsible." Well, I guess that answers our question. It obviously is. Oh, who CARES about Ellen and her friends when you've got YARD WORK to do? I mean, YARD WORK. How can you resist? It's so much fun, and so entertaining, it can keep you out there for hours on end! My GAWD.
So we go to Home Depot and Dad and Erica buy some stuff. Then we drop off Caitlin and go off to eat. On da way to da restaurant, I felt car sick, so I told dad.
Dad: I know why you're sick!
Me: Yeah, caaaar sick. Because of this CAR.
Dad: No, because you didn't get any sleep last night!
Me: YES I did o_O;
Dad: Because you wore too little >=l
Me: No, Dad, I'm CAR SICK. When I get off the car, I'll be fine.
Erica: So, you want to walk to the restaurant?
Me: ::silent:: ..................................................... ::few minutes:: When I get off the car, I'll be fine.
Erica: Jeff, stop, Ellen wants to get off the car and walk to the restaurant.
Dad: Really? Did she say that? o_O
Erica: Yep =)
Me: .......................No, I said WHEN I get off the car, I'll be fine. Not "I want to get off the car right now". ?___?
Gawd, see the bitch I have for a stepmother? Why do I have a bitch for a stepmother and an irresponsible retard for a father?!
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(Eat a Cow o_o)
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Thursday, October 25th, 2001
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Where's Chib been all day? ;___; She said she'd be on after 3:30 or something~~ I've been waiiiitttiiinnnnnng, Chib~ Unless you came on while I was away o_O; Whcih would realy scuk. Cbecuase I haven't been waay much. ........woaho_O;; @ howmany typose tha t is ......my gawd o___O;
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(Eat a Cow o_o)
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Wednesday, October 24th, 2001
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Geez. Okay, dad's brother called... or my uncle, ya know. So I pick up and I called to dad and I'm like "Your brother called." and now Erica comes in and is all "Would it bother you if your kids called Ed "your brother" and not "Uncle Edwin"?" and I'm like "............................." and finally I get it, and I"m like "Oh. Sorry." and she keeps going on about it, and dad comes in and is like "What's going on?" and she tells him, and he's like "::nods::..... ::nods at Ellen:: She's got a point. ::continues nodding::" and I'm like "I said I'm sorry." and so Erica goes out of the room and talks loudly, and she's like "Oh, it doesn't matter, because you weren't taught this as a child, because you PARENTS didn't TEACH you." and she kept babbling on so I turned up the volume 'till she shut up. What the hell is wrong with her?
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(Eat a Cow o_o)
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Chibi's gone? She said her mom banned her...? ;_______; Chibi-chan, come back... ._.;;; I hope she gets back soon ._.; I hope she's okay... .__.; Poor Chibi-chan... It's not fair dat she has to deal wif all that, along wif everything else ;_; ::hugs Chibi:: I hope you come back and feel better ._.;;;
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(Eat a Cow o_o)
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Tuesday, October 23rd, 2001
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I feel so retarded irl ;_; Gawd, I hate today. I feel so crappy. Everything bad's happening. Kimi was being... mean. Amanda kept acting like I was really annoying and I kept pissing her off, which is normal, and I feel like everyone hates me ._.;And my foot is screwed up. See, I used to keep wearing shoes too small...and so my foot sort of screwed up, and now my toe like, bends in instead of going straight. Well, this is all very good, because it's not anything serious if I wear larger shoes and my toe goes back to normal. But unfortuanatly, my toe IS NOT going back to normal, and da doctor said dat if it hurts, then that's bad. And it hurts. And so I might have to get surgery. But I'm afraid to tell dad... I don't want to have surgery .__.; Not to mention all da money it will cost. Hospitals are scary... especially if you have to go there to get surgery. I'm scared... ._.;;;;; and den if I did get surgery, what if it went wrong? What if they like, pulled off my toe or something? (unlikely, but possible x_X;) Or what if dey hit a vein and I died bleeding while I was sleeping? ......gawd, I'm so selfish. Who CARES if I die bleeding?
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(2 butchers x_X | Eat a Cow o_o)
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Friday, September 7th, 2001
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When I finally decide to use DJ full-time, it decides to error on me. How gay is that? It's like, not working now ;_;() So Nesa won't be able to see.... the stuffthathappenedyesterdaythatdidn'tmakesense! ::gasp:: the horror ;_;() Anyway, I took a few piccles of myself o_O; Now you can all see how ugly I look. I don't care if you deny it, you know it's true >=O
A Cow is Elben (6:37:30 PM): http://www.geocities.com/idiyei/piccys/bwa.jpg piccle of me at the end of last school year~ Sortta really big
A Cow is Elben (6:37:38 PM): sortta really really big o_O;
A Cow is Elben (6:37:47 PM): I'm the asian one (No duh) and the one next to me is Amanda ^_^;;
A Cow is Elben (6:38:34 PM): you must realize how very idiotic I felt for wearing a long sleeved shirt and pants on the last day of school
Jeff Li Hong (6:38:50 PM): why is it so green? o_O
A Cow is Elben (6:38:58 PM): green? o_O;
A Cow is Elben (6:39:14 PM): oh
A Cow is Elben (6:39:19 PM): those lines are from my scanner
Jeff Li Hong (6:39:28 PM): ah :3
A Cow is Elben (6:39:34 PM): my camera didn't take a good picture of it so I scanned it instead and seeing as my scanner is broken, well... ^_^;
Jeff Li Hong (6:39:37 PM): big grins :D
A Cow is Elben (6:39:40 PM): XD
A Cow is Elben (6:39:49 PM): that's 'cause Amanda has big teeth
A Cow is Elben (6:39:53 PM): and I'm just ugly =)
A Cow is Elben (6:40:03 PM): http://www.geocities.com/idiyei/piccys/elbenx_X.jpg
A Cow is Elben (6:40:09 PM): One I took a few hours ago @.@;
A Cow is Elben (6:40:23 PM): geez I look ugly ;_; Nocturne LIED.
A Cow is Elben (6:40:47 PM): http://www.geocities.com/idiyei/piccys/elbenlooksretarded.jpg One I looked messed up on o_O;
A Cow is Elben (6:40:53 PM): I was blinking and my smile sortta fell
Jeff Li Hong (6:41:20 PM): you like kinda stoned o__o
A Cow is Elben (6:41:27 PM): in which one?
Jeff Li Hong (6:41:38 PM): the one right there ^
A Cow is Elben (6:41:43 PM): XD
A Cow is Elben (6:41:54 PM): http://www.geocities.com/idiyei/piccys/reallyretarded.jpg that's how I normally look O_O ::ugly::
Jeff Li Hong (6:42:15 PM): no you don't XP
A Cow is Elben (6:42:19 PM): I seriously don't know how Panou's borther can call me pretty o__O;
A Cow is Elben (6:42:25 PM): Yesh I do XP
Jeff Li Hong (6:42:29 PM): but you are ~~ :D~
A Cow is Elben (6:42:33 PM): No I'm not >=O
Jeff Li Hong (6:42:40 PM): XO~
A Cow is Elben (6:42:46 PM): ::ugliest person on the face of the earth:: SO THERE
A Cow is Elben (6:42:55 PM): .....nice proving=) @ Elben
A Cow is Elben (6:42:56 PM): wait
A Cow is Elben (6:42:57 PM): I am Elben
A Cow is Elben (6:42:58 PM): ......
A Cow is Elben (6:43:04 PM): Okay, I'll shut up right around now o-O;
Jeff Li Hong (6:43:13 PM): dot dot dot
A Cow is Elben (6:43:28 PM): I feel your pain, Jeff, I feel your pain.
A Cow is Elben (6:43:46 PM): I have to hear myself talk like that every day=l
Jeff Li Hong (6:43:47 PM): stop feeling dat! pervert O_O
A Cow is Elben (6:43:53 PM): XD
A Cow is Elben (6:44:01 PM): stop thinking like that ;__;
Jeff Li Hong (6:44:32 PM): XP
The links are in there somewhere. ::too lazy to go get some more:: @_@;
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(Eat a Cow o_o)
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Sunday, August 26th, 2001
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| Subject: | Bwa~ |
| Time: | 1:42 pm. |
| Mood: |  angry. | | Music: | Original Broadway Cast of "Cats" - Memory. |
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LIvejournal is so idiotic. If it doesn't stop being so like, error-ey I'm soon gonna get pissed off and LEAVE. I mean, geez. it's always 'overloaded' da hell o_O; And I'm looking at this thing and wondering "Who the hell would want a livejournal t-shirt?" 'cause that's just "...." becuase... well, I mighta wanted one BEFORE, but now dat da server's all stupid and slow and stuff it's like, pointless. I wish blogger had these cool little face thingys, though... that'd make it just as good as Livejournal, if not better ::whacks how LJ never works anymore:: Oy, anyways... not much to say, it's all at BLOGGER which actually LOADS. Geez, ::kicks LJ:: WORK o_O;
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(Eat a Cow o_o)
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Friday, August 24th, 2001
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| Subject: | Bwa... |
| Time: | 4:58 pm. |
| Mood: | bored/depressed. | | Music: | Original Broadway Cast of "Cats" - Memory. |
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Where is everyone? I feel so alone ;__; Where's Chibi? She should be out of school by now. whatabout JLJ? And Nesa? Well, Nesa went shopping... so that's okay. But what about Chibi and JLJ? ::sniff:: Where are youuu~~~? ::turns into a DOG:: ::SNIFFS OUT JLJ AND CHIBI:: GET ONLINE ;____; ::sighs;: anwyays..
I spent all day getting school supplies. I swear I went totally insane yesterday. CuteMAP drove me insane. After I left, I went downstairs and ate a Crispy Chicken sandwich and lipton tea. At like, one in the morning. Funny thing is, Ed didn't try to stop me. Heh. Whatever... So, of course, after drinking a cup of tea, which has caffiene in it, I couldn't seleep. So when I finally did fall asleep, I slept for--wow, get this--one hour straight! Amazing, huh? So I sat there. Actually... it was insane. I had a dream that I was doing HTML. And--hey, what a coincidence-- it just wouldn't work. So I started humping the HTML (o___O;) and it still woudlnt' work. And I woke up humping my blankets. And Ic ouldnt' get over the fact I wasn't dreaming anymore. So throughout about a half hour of humping blankets thinking I was dreaming being half awake half asleep thinking I was dreaming, actually dreaming, thinking HTML sucked, etc. etc, I finally figured out I wasn't dreaming and woke up and continued humpign my blankets because they're nice. Then at about 2:50 I decided I should get back to sleep, or else that stupid hole I made above my eye wif my glasses two days ago would never go away. So I laid there and waited. And waited. And waited some more. THen, I insanely decided I was thirsty. So I sat there for about ten minutes deciding if I should go and get some water or not. I finally decided that since I was insane and I was going insane because of stupid CuteMAP I went downstairs and got me a drink. And I drank. It was a bad drink. It made me feel yucky. So after I drank I went back up and tried to sleep. I slept on top of the blankets, but it was too cold. So finally I decided to sleep under the covers and was happy. And I slept.
I woke up at 9, but I was tired so I fell back asleep and slept 'till 11:50 or so. Then I got up and Erica told me we were gonna go buy my school supplies. So I got dressed and left at 12. We went to McDonalds. I had a McSalad. Ceasar one. And I shared some McNuggets wif Erica, adn I had water. Then we went and bought school supplies. Lotsa and lotsa school supplies. That was at a grocery store. Then we went to Office Max and happily shopped for school supplies some more. Then we finally came home.
For the past hour or two I've been shoving stuff inside five little drawers. I never knew how much desk crap I had. How happy. Bwa, I haven't seen Jeff in forever. Heh, not very much of a chance of seeing him now. Maybe after school starts. Whatever.
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(Eat a Cow o_o)
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Thursday, August 23rd, 2001
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I'm insane~ I got myself a blog and blogger.com... and I'm in love ^___^ I figured out FTP with WS_FTP... and I'm in love ^___^ I got CuteMap from download.com... and I'm in love ^___^ But actually, I hate cutemap. It's driving me mentally insane. It won't freaked up work. But that's okay. I love it anyways. ^_^
http://www.geocities.com/idiyei/blog.html
And someday, I'll get my own idiyei domain, and I'll do it. It'll be cool. ....er, yeah.
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(Eat a Cow o_o)
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Wednesday, August 22nd, 2001
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::realizes how that sounds:: o__O; I don't want that to happen irl, I meant it would be cool if someone loved me irl x_X;;;;;
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(Eat a Cow o_o)
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pockyluver's journal
crappy.
nostalgic.
pissed off.
confused.
depressed.
happy.
content.
